Friday, April 10, 2009

Deep

I confess that my faith often finds expression in music. Not my music, of course, but the music of others. Here is a song that my husband tells me made the rounds on Christian radio a few years ago. I don't know how I missed it! It's called At the Foot of the Cross and is performed by Kathyrn Scott. Here is a YouTube link.

The pivotal lyrics are found at the end of one of the verses: "... and you've won my heart ... and you've won my heart ..."

It is a sweet, haunting love song, to be sure. It reminds me of the importance of staying in love with God; and the inherent difficulty of doing so, in all frankness.

I remember when I was about 19, my husband and I were dating "long distance" in college. My eldest brother was a sold out, spirit filled, born again Christian. I wasn't there yet. I'll never forget the words he told me once after returning from a date with my future husband ... "Someday you'll be in love with Jesus more than your boyfriend."

I remember my exact reaction: Ridiculous! It will never happen.

Even now, I find myself struggling to keep my love for God properly pointed and focused. It's so easy to erect altars to objects of love in our lives that are not God.

How do we stay deeply in love with God? The Psalmist tells us, "Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me." (Psalm 42:7)

I imagine I am quoting out of context, but these words seem to answer my question. I have to choose to place myself in God's presence, and not just a 2 minute, Hey God, how's it going, here's my laundry list for the week of what I need..., but rather an intense exploration of God; an earnest and consistent attempt at plumbing those depths.

All your waves and breakers have swept over me. That doesn't happen unless we place ourselves precariously close to the roaring waterfall.

Resort hotels like to feature ads with beautiful, bikini-clad women standing in a waterfall, striking a pose that usually involves them running their hands through their hair, experiencing the rush of the water as it pours over them. (Admit it, you have the picture in your mind.) That's the image this verse brings to my mind's eye, sans the sexual connotation; the sensation of the water's power as it rushes over me; the complete, soaking, cleansing, refreshing saturation of that water. That is what being deeply in love with God can be like.

... CAN be like.

Deep calls to deep. God's Spirit beckons us to draw near to Him. I don't know why I sometimes resist this call. I don't know why I shun the waterfall. What I do know, what I have experienced, is when I'm diligent and disciplined in my pursuit of God, I discover anew ... He has won my heart.

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