Sunday, March 22, 2009

While I'm waiting

I have several songs floating around in my head.

One is by Steve Fee. "... And it's all because of Jesus I'm alive ... all because of faith in Jesus Christ ..."

Another is by John Waller. "... While I'm waiting, I will serve you ... while I'm waiting, I will worship ... while I'm waiting ... "

The third is actually a hodge podge of bird songs.

I've been working out in my yard the last 3 days. I have probably clocked in 8 hours. I am nearly done with Spring maintenance and ready to move on to planting. I enjoy working out in my gardens. However, my kids don't get it. My youngest daughter said to me yesterday as we were bagging leaves, "I can understand enjoying (and now I can't remember what she said) _______, but enjoying yard work just doesn't make sense to me!" I smiled. I suppose we are all wired differently.

After today's work, which included cleaning out the last of my beds, trimming bushes in this and another bed, hacking down my split leaf philodendron just a bit more, trimming the 8 ft tall hibiscus in my experimental garden, and putting out fertilizer, I settled next to my husband by the pool to read. I easily spent 3 hours outside today, but it wasn't until I got really still, reading my book, that I suddenly became aware of the concert around me. The birds were singing and my eyes were searching the trees to find one song in particular. Then I saw a flash of red. A cardinal. He disappeared as quickly as he surfaced and I tried in vain to find him again and point him out to my husband.

Next I noticed some of my wind chimes. I have one particularly nice set near the pool. It was very peaceful, listening to the birds and chimes in turn, enjoying the sun, reading my book, being near my husband.

I thought, the birds never say, "I don't feel like singing right now." They just sing. They sing all the time. What a good use of their time. I thought about the curious nature of these little creatures. What other reason could they have been created other than to sing for no apparent reason? I'm certain God "tunes in" on a regular basis to hear the birds singing. Surely this is why he made them. Surely this is their purpose. How wonderful that they are living according to their purpose.

"... While I'm waiting ..." There's that refrain again. It makes me smile, especially after what has proven to be a challenging weekend on one front. I have spent several hours on the phone with a friend who struggles with addiction. I want to hope that I have gotten through to her, but she has disappointed me a great deal in the past. I really had to give her a big dose of tough love on Friday. That was hard. Today, we were trading texts. She told me she had a call into her doctor for a prescription to help her with the detoxing. I want to receive that as hopeful. I pray she is being honest with me. I have told her very clearly, "I will never give up on you, no matter what, as long as you will be honest with me."

I talked to Larry today at church. He's the spouse of one of the Santa Maria ladies. About 2 weeks ago, he told me some sad, sad stories about his wife, where she's been, why she struggles so. It's heart breaking. This week, he told me he felt like he was getting his "old wife" back. He smiled deeply. So did I.

I drove in the van ministry today. On the way to church, one woman, who I sense must have a very interesting story that I hope I will get to hear before she leaves, told me, "God is really answering prayers at Santa Maria right now." Really? I said. She relayed one woman's answer in particular regarding CPS. Next she said, "The ministry your church has there makes a big difference." Again, I replied incredulously, Really? "And the songs y'all pick each week ... I can't believe how they say exactly what I need to hear." Again ... Really? "And you know what? God is not as rigid as you think." REALLY????

All this from a woman who several weeks earlier, "argued" with our pastor about several points of theology when he was doing a Q&A with the ladies and quoted her own pastor several times to defend her position.


I smiled and sincerely thanked her for sharing her encouraging words. They were good to hear. They soothed me.

Once at church, my little ray of sunshine ran up to hug me. Her name is Rebecca. She will be discharging in 3 more weeks. I know she is going to make it, I just know it, and I am very, very happy for her.

This post is going nowhere in particular. (In fact, I have just changed the title for the third time.) It's just that I am so aware of God's presence right now. My heart is warm. He is teaching me many things and for that I am grateful. And he is using me in the lives of others in the process. What a miracle.

Even as my thoughts circle about and go nowhere in particular, I know he is directing me ... while I'm waiting.

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